HELP:  I’m afraid to make a decision!

HELP: I’m afraid to make a decision!

MOST LIKED “SEANISM” on 1/11/14:

We fear making decisions that will massively alter our future. Yet, everything alters the future, even doing nothing. Tweet It

When I am counseling men, the greatest syndrome I come across is “decisive-phobia.” It’s not really a condition, too my knowledge, but it sure plagues many men (and even women). I see it most often in men because when a guy is afraid to make a decision, his masculinity eludes him. He’s paralyzed in fear. He won’t go up and talk to “the” woman, ask for the sale in business, or face the crucial confrontation that has been plaguing him for months.

REMEMBER, this is my made up definition…

Decisive-phobia: Fearing having to make decisions, especially the ones that could result in rejection or a major change in life.

When I drill to the root of this issue I find one to three things going on:

1. They made a decision in their past that resulted in discomfort or serious pain.

2. They fear making the “wrong” decision and letting someone down and/or looking bad.

3. They are conditioned to leave “decision making” up to an authority figure (parent, spouse, boss).

Either way, we have so many people on this planet who couldn’t make a decision to save their life.

“What do you want for dinner?”

“I dunno, what do you want?”


As my buddy @larrywinget says, “GROW A PAIR!”

Ok, back to compassionate TLC, it’s gonna be ok. :) ONCE you grow a pair! haha Gottcha. :)

Seriously, though…

If you suffer from “decisive-phobia,” I can help.

WARNING: My recommendation is not approved by the FDA, AMA, or any other regulating body. It’s strictly my own opinion. Based on the fact that I absolutely LOVE making decisions, and won’t back down from the hard ones, you might want to listen up.

You’ll need to adopt a few of my fundmental beliefs about decisions and decision making.

1. You can’t do it wrong. (I stole this one from my wife) Second-guessing yourself is such an ugly habit; rid yourself of it or it will make you its b*tch for life!

2. No decision is the worst decision. Delays and denial lead to death and destruction. What we ignore simply grows.

3. The one who is capable of making tough decisions in difficult times is the leader, no matter what the outcome.

The common misconception is, “The hardest decisions are the ones that massively alter your future.” I say it’s a misconception because our decisions alter our future no matter what. You could make a seemingly small decision that massively alters your life. Don’t believe me?

Take the guy who’s out of milk, he simply runs to the store to get some more, on his way he’s hit and killed by a drunk driver. Massively altered by the littlest of decisions.

“Sean, how is this making me feel any better?”

Shifting perspective, that’s how.

EVERY decision, even the little ones have the power to shape our lives. Here’s an upbeat, positive example…

One day I turned on my computer, logged on to Facebook and accepted a friend-request from a woman in Portland, Oregon. That woman is now my wife. Sean Stephenson raised his “playa” jersey to the rafters because of a seemingly tiny decision of accepting a friend-request.

You have no idea what decision is going to radically transform your life. That’s the adventure of it all, silly.

Ok, now if I could please have the attention of all my male readers…

I will have a decision for you to make, most likely some time next week.

I’m going to ask you if you want to attend my live (summer) event, “ALPHA: How to Attract Sex, Money, and Power!”

You can’t make your decision just yet, you don’t know any of the important details. You will next week. I’m just giving you a heads up.

You see, I rarely do public events.

“What’s a public event, Sean?”

Great question. :)

It’s an event where you can pay an individual ticket price and hang with me in person. Considering I haven’t done a live event in years, this is a very rare occasion.

Stay tuned for details.

Whether you’re a man, a woman, or a hermaphrodite, if you want to kick ass in life you must strengthen your decision making muscles.


By making more decisions, especially the ones that scare you! :)

“I want to make a decision right now, Sean!”

Ok, would you like to buy my book, “Get Off Your ‘BUT’: How to End Self-Sabotage and Stand Up for Yourself”?

If the answer is yes, click on the ad below. :)


  1. I have a question, Sean: are Spanish versions of your book “get off your but” available? Where?

  2. Great post brother! You’ve been a tremendous influence in challenging me to act more decisively and I love you for that. As brothers, we seem to be focused on similar growth in our own lives right now since I too just wrote the blog post below on the power of decisive action:


    For the majority of my life, I’ve been neutralized by my habitual self-indoctrination of needing the last piece of sacred information BEFORE allowing myself to take action.

    This need for more information, and lack of trust in my own ability, left me powerless.

    As I look at the people who I consider are living extraordinary lives, I realize it’s not because they have better information than I do.

    It’s not because they think positively and put out a fuzzy intention and the Universe magically grants their every wish.

    It’s simply because they TAKE DECISIVE ACTION.

Speak Your Mind